Well..

On Thursday night my wife came home from work and told me she wanted a divorce...

 

We've had some problems for a while which I thought we were trying to work out, but apparently not well enough.

 

No, I had no idea that it had gone this far and am totally shocked and surprised.

 

I'm so, so sad, everything in my life that I've known for the last 12 years has just crashed down around my ears, I can't begin to describe my feelings,

confusion, hopelessness, bits of anger, regret,

just total, total sadness.

 

I'm really scared on how it's going to affect my 2 girls, esp my eldest one as she's very sensitive anyway.

People say they will be ok, but they don't really know that and I'm terrified that it could destroy her.

 

I'm trying to stay amicable and friendly (as possible in the situation), but at the moment I'm just so shocked and hurt.

 

Never thought my wife would turn round and out of the blue (to me anyway) and say she didn't love me anymore and didn't want to be with me.

 

My life is a mess, a wreck, hopefully I'll be able to pick myself back up, but right now I feel like my life has finished, I had time alone in the house this morning as everyone else was out and I couldn't contain it any longer and just sobbed my heart out for about an hour, sobbing like my heart had just broken....... and you know what, it has broken, I'm devastated, I feel, what could I have done to change things, make things better, according to my wife there is nothing I can do to make things better, it's too far gone, she's simply drifted apart from me and doesn't love me anymore and doesn't want to try and fix it.

 

God.....

I feel so alone...

Even though I have a lot of friends behind me offering support, I just feel terribly alone and I don't know, in despair I guess.

 

It's a living, breathing nightmare I'm in..

 

I want to wake up and it all be a bad dream, but it's not, it's my life............. hideous..

 

so, so, so sad....

 

I feel for my girls something chronic, I hope they're not too affected by this, they're gorgeous, happy, bright things and I don't want them to be crushed and for this to damage them permently...

 

what do I do now?!

I don't know, sometimes I have a clear head and start organising things, but other times I'm in the darkest depths of despair and just want to curl into a ball and die.

 

I must get through this for the sake of my girls, I'm being strong round them (as they don't know yet) but ........ jesus.......

 

I thought we would grow old and grey together, how wrong can you be....

 

my silent tears streaming down my face, thinking of all the good times we had, and all the bad actually, that's what makes a marriage haha, obviously the tough times that we've been having have just been too rough for my wife and she's called an end to it..

 

shocking and sad.